Whenever anyone mentions the city of Los Angles, no matter the context, the words TRAFFIC TRAFFIC TRAFFIC come to mind and an image like this blurs the vision of everything else in my mind…
Yet after almost two years of living in the City of Angels I’ve learned some tricks on how to survive living in LA. Here are my top 5 rules for survival in America’s Smoggiest City
1. Drive between the hours of 7 AM and 9 AM or 4 PM and 7 PM. Um, what? You crazy girl, you want me to drive during rush hour… in Los Angeles!? Yes! But only if you’re NOT driving on freeways! There is this amazing LA secret (Ok, well technically it’s not a secret because there are signs posted up and down every major street, but when you have to decipher around 17 signs regarding parking I feel like some people miss this sign.)
It’s the sign that states between 7-9 AM and 4-7 PM there is no stopping or parking in the right hand lane, it’s the city’s “anti-gridlock zone” policy. In simpler terms it means Whitney can fly down the right hand lane by herself because none of the other amazingly smart and perceptive LA drivers have figured this out yet!
Hooray for me! One way to make driving (and surviving) in LA a little more bearable!
2. Avoid Priuses. Yes, those annoying little spaceship looking smart cars should come with the slogan “the smarter the car, the dumber the driver”!
On foot, bicycle, car, bus, scooter, roller-skate or horseback, you will unavoidably incur the wrath of a crazed Prius driver that will attempt to run you over! To make your life a little less stressful and keep your anger at a minimum whenever you see a Prius, run, drive, scoot or skate in the other direction!
3. Tune into 93.5 FM KDAY. Home to old school hip hop and Back in the Day Double Play Tuesdays. There’s nothing like cruising in your car (and by cruising I mean inching ahead on La Cienega at app. 3 mph) and hearing a little Kris Kross… make ya wanna “Jump Jump” or a little Run DMC or NWA, how about a little Digital Underground with “the Humpty Dance” oh yeah, I just went there! To make driving… or sitting in your car, home or office more manageable tune in and rock out to some old school jams to make life in La La Land a little more tolerable.
4. Live walking distance from at least 3 respectable bars. Now I use the term “respectable” very liberally here, but basically 3 bars that meet the basic requirements for my enjoyment.
- Good Happy Hour
- Decent Wine
- Yummy Food
- Not full of DB’s
- Staff you would want to be friends with
- Photo booth (a bonus)
In my neighborhood it’s The Den, The Hudson and The Churchill…. Apparently to be “respectable” in West Hollywood you should start the name of your bar with the word “The”!! The most important factor of this rule though is “WALKING DISTANCE”. After dealing with all of the aforementioned traffic in LA, the last thing you want to do is come home from school/work/funemployment to have to get back in your car and drive to a bar! A bar where you will most likely drink too much at, not be able to drive your car home from and in turn get your car towed from and end up cabbing it to a tow lot at 7:00 in the morning to pay $576 to get your car out (not speaking from experience or anything!) So do yourself a favor and scope out the bar scene in the neighborhood you’re planning to live before committing to a new spot!
5. Be-friend cool people that live within a one-mile radius (or make cool people move within a one-mile radius of you!) Once again, the traffic and driving factors play a role in this rule. Five miles in most cities means a five-to-ten minute drive. In LA it means you might as well live in another country because there is no way I’m ever driving into the valley to see you! I have friends in Arizona I see more than my friends that live in the valley!
Hopefully you all have found my rules helpful and informative… or at the very least down right entertaining!